Eye humped you

As always, the people around me are responsible for/inspire most of the stuff I write.  Little things often lead to monumental Fails or Wins. (If things don’t lead to either of the two, then they aren’t worth character space).

Edit having recently visited Goa, was describing his trip to me.  In the middle of describing the scenic beaches and the amazing sun, the conversation veered to an erstwhile discussion between the two of us which was primarily about the dearth of attractive women in his(our) life(lives).  This was when he suddenly launched into a graphic account of how he saw a large number of amazingly attractive(?) women in a street outside a night club in Goa.  As is protocol, I asked him the customary question

Explorer: Did you get laid?

Edit: No.

Explorer:  Atleast dry-humping?

Edit: No.  No dry-humping.  Only eye-humping.

These were his exact words.  My friend Edit did not realise that he came up with an apt term which accounts for the sex lives of millions of Indians.  ”Eye-humping” can be broadly defined as  stripping people naked with the “mind’s eye” and performing gross/obscene sexual acts with them within the said “mind’s eye”.

Stud-max terms now have fresh company. Eye-humping is here to stay, it will soon be as much a part of India’s sexual history as Kamasutra or Khajuraho.

Issued in public interest: Eye-humping is a severe lack of respect towards women and is in no way condoned by anyone. It is utterly derogatory and painful for subject of aforementioned eye-humping. Respect women, be civilised.
If not, UP yours.

Ad infinitum

I head into my end of semester exams in about a fortnight’s time, and all that my acquaintances ask me is how much progress I have made with my syllabus.
As a rule, during the preparatory leaves, I lead a totally unsocial life. This includes not stepping out of my house for days on end. I love being holed up without being in touch with anyone. Some people do stay in touch, somehow or the other(curse mobile communications) but that I tolerate more as a formality.
What I hate most about mobile communications is messaging. I hate messaging. I prefer calls anyday, but there is a distinguished class of the public who are too busy to pick up calls or do not attend to calls and hence as a direct consequence, you have to message them. I am now looking for a cell phone that does not have the “sms/mms/ems” functions. Sort of like a reverse pager.(A pager was a phone without calls and facilitated reading of messages for the uninitiated).
But sometimes messaging does help.(very rarely)
I also happen to know that none of the people who are referred to in the above post, will have the inclination to read a blog, hence the freedom with which i unleash ab imo pectore.
The consequence of this being that I have now become a long haired pillock with an untamed stubble who has no love of civilisation. Indirectly, you can say I’ve become something of a caveman albeit without the trademark sexual urges and lack of hygiene.
The effect that the P.L has on me is amazing, I am a different person when I have college to attend though I must admit, I prefer the P.L version of me.
As and when I find a mobile with the features I so crave, I shall be kind enough to post a picture of the same on this here page.
Peace.